Tuesday, July 20, 2010

There Are Times

I was thinking the other day,
I know what was I thinking doing this thinking activity?
Never the less I was thinking, thinking about why I started this blog.

Well it was because I had this need to connect with other Moms who had kids with RAD, I found loads of blogs, loads of different situations of RAD, PDSD, ADHD to name just a few long with lots of other disorders. When my kids where diagnosed with this disorder which by the way is classed as a mental illness, I was heartbroken to say the lest, but relieved at the same time, as I had been told by the school guidance counselor that Bop needed to see a neurologist. Which made me think at the time that the school thought Bop was totally crazy, which I knew was not the case.

So back to the blog.......
Im the sort of person who gathers like minded people around me and gets on with my situation. If one has like minded around them, then you always have that support system to pick you back up when you trip or fall or have a question.
Im also the type who will reach out to others and encourage where encouragement is needed.

I also believe that if you can educate someone one a subject then do just that.
So there are my reasons for this blog.

I was going to give this blogging thing a miss ..... I had thought about it and was just about fully decided to give it all up
I asked myself some questions this weekend

So have I connected with other Moms with kids with RAD?

Not really.
One Mom sort of, but other than that no,

Have i tried?

Yes I have tried, I read their blogs daily and always leave a comment ..... which as you know can be quiet time consuming, but I think its polite to at lest say Hi and let someone know you have read there post which maybe the spent hours thinking about and writing.
I have learnt a lot from some of theses moms which is a positive.

Is this disappointing ?
Good question, I'm not sure if I am or not, I know my situation is different from most, my kids are not adopted, and RAD mostly develops in adopted kids,  (if anyone is wondering they are my step children) I know my kids don't have RAD as serve as some children have it ..... I consider myself lucky to a degree, but I do have it tough in other areas but like they say each case of RAD is different, different circumstances surround each situation, and no one other than the person in that situation, knows what is really going on.
So I'm not sure if I am disappointed or not.

I then asked myself why I thought all this was.... the no connection and so on.

Well before I say .... I have to tell you that  Kerrie at Good Moms Are a Lot of Things has been my only connection where moms with RAD kids are concerned. Her style of parenting and advice in areas has been a source of joy and at times has helped me move along just that little bit more.

I think its cause I don't harbor on the negative and write solely about the crap in our lives. Also I think its cause my kids are not adopted. I don't have the adoption connection, I am yet to find another mom who has stepchildren with RAD. It reminds me of being in school and being the new girl, and trying to fit in.
I don't want to write about just the crap, that just brings me down more. I think achievements, are more important.

The humor of it all ..... I always wanted children,  I was diagnosed at 24 with premature menopause .... that put an end to that want. So to have these two children is a blessing, whats funny about it is that its not what I  expected I mean why would it be..... I asked God for two children a boy and a girl .... I forgot to ask for a normal parenting experience ... so then why would I have got that normal parenting experience. So cause I think this is funny in all shapes and forms, could that be why people who deal with RAD don't connect with me .....maybe ....I don't mean to make fun of this mental illness .... and I have to say I'm sorry if I have offended anyone.

What do I have in this blog ...?
Well I have a place to come and write about the stuff that makes me happy, the children and their achievements, my love of photography is beginning to shine through ,I'm sure there is other stuff that will end up on this blog before time that will not have any connection with RAD, but it will have a connection to me cause that's what its all about isn't it? ... and then there is you guys, the ones reading my ramblings .... and your comments which always brighten my days and makes me smile.

I never started this blog to gain followers, or to receive comments ....... and I sure don't expect any body to follow me just cause they stumbled across my little space on the web, or leave a comment .... I always leave a comment but I don't expect it from others.... I do appreciate my 12 follows and I appreciate the other 19  from my Select All + Delete Facebook page ......

I started this so people could understand my children, instead of seeing them as naughty children, which they are not... they have problems which makes them act different to other children.
I am going to continue this blog, after all it brings me pleasure and I am so blessed to have connected with so many people from different walks of life, and for that reason alone I'm grateful.

I'm also sorry if this post was a total ramble....and bored the pants of you!


This was a Tuesday Train post.

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  1. I think that when it comes to the blogs, most of us start them for reasons you just gave. A way to connect with other people who may have similar stories to yours. I started mine to put on "paper" some of my feelings and it grew from there. I still mainly rant or vent, but in the process have found a couple of bloggers I have formed a relationship with. You did great with this post. You put into words what most of us feel.

  2. Thank You Christy ... I love your rants and you write them so well... so this means a lot that you took the time to tell me this ....

  3. Rachel,
    I don't usually post a comment, but I do read your posts. I think you have done an awesome job with the kids and with J. I cannot see myself ever changing my life the way you have in the last few years. Have a great visit with your parents and remember you all are in my thoughts!

  4. Thank You Jen..... and Thank You for leaving a comment, its nice to know that you are reading ....

  5. I really love your blog, Rachel. I love how freely you write and I'm enjoying seeing your blog and writing develop. And you are succeeding because I do stop and think about the behaviour of OPC (other people's children) more often these days. Don't stop blogging. Do it 'cos I know you love it.

  6. Thanks Maxabella.... its funny cause thats just how I feel about your blog ...What you write about makes me think about the world around me....

  7. Wow, I'm honored you mentioned me! I started reading blogs because they are honestly the most comprehensive way to find practical ideas and scripts to use with my RADlings. I started writing mostly as a way of chronicling my girls' story for myself and them, but also hoping that someone else might get some use out of it.

    I enjoy your blog for the reasons you mentioned: your kids aren't adopted, and that lends a fascinating turn. Everybody has a story.

  8. Kerrie you are welcome... weather you know it or not your blog has been a great source for me... plus I enjoy your story's ... and more so if they are about Princess and peanut ...i love those girls :)

  9. Rachel, I just learned so much from reading this post. Thank you for being so honest and sharing with us. RAD is new to me and I'm glad I've found your blog. I'm a teacher, and I'm pretty sure I've had students with these issues. This has been very informative. Thanks again for sharing your story.