I have to say before I tell you how three became four that its been a whirlwind of joy, excitement, sadness and heartbreak. I'm still standing and I'm still strong and I'm always ready for whatever may come my way.
Four years ago I was a bit of a gamer I was single ( had been for 2 yrs ) and I was very happy in my present state of being, God was a huge part of my life ( and He still is ) and I had a circle of friends that any girl would be over joyed about. Then I meet a man, while playing an online game, random meeting one that would change the course of my life forever, was it God, ye I now think it was. At the time I did wonder if I was making my own path, but I feel in love, hook line and sinker.
After about 5 months of online communication I flew to the States to meet him face to face ( I'm British so it was a long journey) stayed for two weeks, meet his family, his children, his friends and feel in love all over again. I know two weeks isn't long but it was long enough to know that I wanted to be part of his life forever. I cant say I noticed anything at that time that would of sent me running, ye the kids where out of control but I put that down to single parent not having enough time to control everything, Id done the single parent thing sometime before when I had fostered two teenage boys, so I understood the circumstances of it all, the only thing that really sticks in my memory of that time was how over friendly Bip was. At five I just didn't imagine a child being so willing to except a strange woman coming into his life, but he did with lots of hugs and cuddles and total acceptance of me. After two weeks it was time to leave, and I remember him crying at the airport ( I cried to for more than one reason) Bop didn't she didn't seem in the slightest bit fazed by my departing and seemed to be off in her own world. Coming home to the UK I quickly made arrangements to fly back again for a 3 month visit, Which I did 8 weeks later. In that time Bip started to wet himself randomly, and forever crying that he wanted his new mommy back with him. I remember thinking this was very sweet but who said anything about me becoming his new mommy.
Well I did become his new mommy, 3 months later .... two weeks before I was due to fly back to England we married in a little ceremony on the front lawn at ( lets call him J ) J's mothers house. So here I was newly married wife with two step children in tow. The summer had been a blasted ye there was problems same problems which we have to day, but Ive always thought I was superwoman ...... could solve anything and do anything ..... sometimes I still think I am only to find out later that superwoman lost her powers someway along the line and needs to go pick them up again.
The relationship between me and Bip and Bop has grown .... their relationship with their birth mother has subsided, and let me say she let this happen. I never wanted them to see me as their mother, but as a friend, but if you don't make contact with a child then whats it going to do?
They after 18 months began to call me Mommy, telling people that we were a real family, forbidding us to use the word step, statements like we hate that word was used on many occasions.....
We came along way in 18 months not that I saw it, other would tell me, people who knew the kids before I came into their lives would say what a difference there was..... I heard horror stories about how they operated in public and in the home, stuff that made my hair curly to be honest and yes there was little displays of this behavior but nothing to send me running to far. But slowly things began to go downhill, very slowly, as mine and J's relationship grow ..... the children began to show signs of disruption .... they sabotaged our wedding blessing, they made my life hell when they where at school, Bop who I had gotten dry day and night began to wet herself again ......... it seemed it was all crashing in around me.ADHD was diagnosed .... we made a choice not to medicate but we seeked an alternative ( see Native Remedies )
So as we jump ahead another 18 months ..... Ive been here for 3 years now and we have finally gone into therapy ......... RAD isnt diagnosed yet ..... but its been talked about.
So with three letters under my belt I began to search the worldwide web ....... and that's where we are today ...
There is more I could write ... I could bore you half to death but the basics are there...... want to know anything else then asked..... I'm open to help, suggestions and questions