Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Joys of RAD: including Homework

Oh August 31st my heading for my Face Book page was this

Children with special needs don't have an illness, they are not contagious. They want what we all want, which is to be accepted. 


I sat here last night just scrolling through your blogs reading what you write...favorite past time by the way.... and it suddenly struck me, do my kids know they are different. 


This had me stumped for about 10 minutes, as I sat and thought about it, and thought about and thought about.

And here I am still thinking about it.


We have just gone into 2nd grade with Bop and honestly its just like history repeating its self, she is doing just what Bip did in 1st 2nd and 3rd grade.... 


Refusing to do homework, refusing to do work at school, and just making her own life miserably.


Its not she cant do it, believe me she can in fact the work she is doing is to easy for her even if it is she doesn't recognize it. 

So I know some of this is boredom, but even so, this is very tiring and boring also ....


So I have just asked her this question.


" Bop who else in your class refused to do work today" 


silence so I asked another question


"Bop who else in your class is still doing there homework 2 hours after they arrived home from school...anyone?"


She finally answered both questions and she said this....


" I think I'm the only one who refused work today, and I think I'm the only one making a fuss over homework"


So does she recognizes that she is different, yes I think she does to be honest.


Can she do anything about that ... no I dont think she can, she is to young to understand how she is different.


Bip on the other hand is totally different to 3 years ago, and is having a fantastic start to the new school year where his work is concerned, which inreturne does shine a light at the end of Bops tunnel I guess.


Cause if he can turn this around then maybe she can to.

So my question is this


Does it hurt to point out their peers to them.....?

Do they need to recognize that they are different and that to get by in this life they need to change their ways?

And am I being a bit harsh on them?

Be as honest with me as you want I sure wont take offense and it wont hurt if I am way of key here....


And for any one who doesn't know what my kids have read  this  then answer my questions 


I'm so open right now to your point of view.


Just a little side note... Bip just started playing me up over homework as his father walked in..... we have now been on homework for over 2 hours



  1. Gosh, Rachel, I don't have any experience with children with RAD, so I don't know if I can really add anything. I will say that it may help to remember that all kids of Bip and Bop's age do all these kinds of things (probably just not as often or as forcefully). They don't want to learn, they don't want to do their homework, they are unsettled and disruptive. I spent 2 hours on Monday getting Maxi-Taxi to settle down and write four words. Four.

    So, as much as they are different, they possibly have a lot in common with their peers too!!


  2. good point Maxabella...and it does help to know this sort of thing..... so I appreciate the input

  3. I have spent a LOT of time puzzling this one over at my own house. And my conclusion is this: shame. Princess knows full well no one else her age disdains the toilet, or screams for hours. I'm pretty sure she knows she's capable of changing it. It's not that she doesn't want to be different than she is; it's that she thinks she doesn't deserve it. She thinks she is so fundamentally bad that she doesn't deserve good things. Moreover, if she had them, they'd leave or get taken away, so her solution is to make sure she doesn't get them. That way she doesn't have to deal with the pain of losing them. Privileges, love, friends, things. Can't want them too much- it'll hurt too much when you don't get them or have them taken from you.